I asked my UK cuckold Saras Playroom blog correspondent peewee what was going on lately with Crissie, a/k/a Cristiano Ronaldo, as Crissie has not been in the news at all in the States recently. Here is peewee the cuckold’s insightful response:

The Spanish media are the not the paparazzi piranha you find in the US and UK. The Spanish don’t have the sensational tabloids popular in Merry Olde England and the Colonies. The Spanish are big on regular newspapers and political rags. There’s sporting coverage, especially of football, but it’s very proper coverage. During the footy season, Crissie seems to concentrate on his sport whilst his supermodel fake girlfriend, Irene Fayk, stays busy with her modeling career. Still Crissie’s gay footy playing style hasn’t changed much from making sure he has applied half a tube of hair gel before each game and taking strategic dives during the games to earn free kicks and penalty shots (for your readers who aren’t familiar with soccer, these are the kicks where the striker gets to take a shot past a wall of defenders covering up their nuts, or lack thereof, small penis humiliation?). And speaking of small penis humiliation, since supermodel Jasmine Lennard revealed everything you ever wanted to know Cristiano’s small penis size and lack of sexual stamina, there haven’t been any more tell-alls about Ronaldo’s tiny penis size. This could be attributed to Crissie sticking to Ms. Fake instead of risking more small penis humiliation.

So have no fear, I’m sure as soon as the season is over for Real Madrid, Cristiano will be back gallivanting around to the world’s gay hot spots with his fake girlfriend and getting lots of pap snaps for your viewing pleasure. Did you see that Irene Fayk garnered the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover? She looked amazing, but her lips looked as fake as her last name. Ironically, she didn’t even hit Maxim’s List of Hottest 100 Women this year.